So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
