How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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