This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
