I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
