Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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