ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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