she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
soo... how was my night?
My life is pants optional.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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