someone threw a dead crab at me
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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