Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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