About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
