It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
