I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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