if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
