went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
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He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
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Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I have already put on my inside pants.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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