No, you can still breathe under the balls.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
