You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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