Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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