Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
