i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
