She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
