My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
