how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
