When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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