did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
