I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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