And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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