Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
