i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
