Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
