very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I skipped work to stalk him.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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