toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
