I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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