Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
