i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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