Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
