yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
