the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
