every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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