You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Quick, to the slutcave!
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
