When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
