Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
