Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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