It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
