i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
