# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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