I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
