i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I think I just sharted jello shots
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
