I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
When did angry sex become our thing?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
