so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
