What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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