Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
