Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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