Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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