oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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