Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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