i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
