The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
