found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
