I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
