i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
