It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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