Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
