One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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